A person holding an absurd checklist for a perfect partner, while a kind potential partner stands in the background with a flower.
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You’re Not ‘Settling’—You’re Just Unrealistic

You’re Not ‘Settling’—You’re Just Unrealistic

Let’s get one thing straight: your soulmate isn’t going to appear in a perfectly tailored suit, holding a bouquet of your favorite flowers, with a six-figure salary and a personality that matches every single one of your quirks. Hate to break it to you, but what you call “settling” might just be *reality*. Harsh? Sure. But let’s talk about why your expectations are sabotaging your shot at love.

What Does ‘Settling’ Even Mean?

We throw around the word ‘settling’ like it’s a dirty term. “Oh, I don’t want to settle for someone who doesn’t get my obsession with artisanal coffee.” Cool, but does that mean you’re holding out for someone who owns a roastery and moonlights as a barista? The line between having standards and being delusional is thinner than you think.

Settling doesn’t mean giving up on your happiness—it means recognizing that perfection doesn’t exist. It’s about focusing on what truly matters: shared values, mutual respect, and a willingness to show up for each other, even on bad days.

When Did Standards Become Checklists?

Once upon a time, people cared about basics: kindness, stability, and maybe a good sense of humor. Now, thanks to dating apps, we’ve turned love into a shopping spree. “Must love dogs, have a Tesla, work out five days a week, and know how to cook vegan meals.”

If you’re treating your potential partner like a Build-A-Bear, it’s time for a reality check. No one is going to check every box—and frankly, you don’t check all of theirs either. (Yes, even with your perfectly curated Instagram selfies.)

Why ‘Perfect’ Is the Enemy of ‘Good’

The obsession with finding perfection is why so many people are perpetually single or stuck in dead-end flings. The idea that there’s always someone *better* out there keeps you from appreciating the amazing, imperfect person right in front of you.

  • They’re a little messy? Cool, so are you.
  • They snore? That’s why earplugs exist.
  • They don’t get your favorite band? Guess what—you can have your own interests.

Stop sabotaging real connections by chasing a fantasy. Good relationships aren’t found—they’re built.

The Difference Between Standards and Entitlement

Here’s the kicker: having standards is healthy. Expecting someone to cater to your every whim is not. A good partner isn’t your servant, therapist, or trophy—they’re a human being with their own flaws and dreams.

Ask yourself this: Are your standards about finding someone who complements your life, or are they about feeding your ego? If it’s the latter, maybe the person who needs adjusting isn’t them—it’s you.

How to Know If You’re Really ‘Settling’

  1. Check Your Priorities: Are you focusing on shared values or superficial traits?
  2. Listen to Your Gut: Do you feel respected, valued, and supported? That’s what matters.
  3. Stop Comparing: Forget the Instagram couples. Real love doesn’t have a filter.
  4. Be Honest About Yourself: Are you as perfect as you expect them to be?

Here’s the truth: love isn’t about finding someone who checks every box—it’s about finding someone who makes the flaws worth it. So stop chasing perfection, stop throwing around the word ‘settling,’ and start recognizing that real love is messy, imperfect, and a lot better than the fantasy you’ve been clinging to.


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